- First my son puts this in my face.
Uncool. He caught that beast in his bedroom and wanted to keep it as a pet. My answer was no.
- Four days ago I am sitting on the couch, minding my own business, catching up with my DVR when a spider, same size as the one above only in a lovely shade of gray crawls out from between the arm and cushion of the couch. I say he crawled but really, that son-of-a-gun was strolling. He seemed to think it was HIS couch. I jumped up like my ass was on fire, screeched (scared the dog) and started chanting
"need a cup
need a cup
OH MY GOD!
where is a freaking cup!?"
I spied an empty Starbucks cup, lunged for it and trapped that sucker and took him back outside where he belonged. If I happened to set him down closer to my neighbors door than mine...well. I'm sure it wasn't on purpose.
- Did you ever see Arachnophobia? Remember the shower scene with the nasty spiders attacking the poor naked lady? That was my house this morning.
Ok, maybe not quite that bad, because, after all, I am still alive.
But I was naked, I did drop my towel in the shower where the water was already running and I was jumping around in the hallway screaming
My son comes running downstairs only to almost crash into his very naked Momma (because my nice, fluffy, momma-sized towel was in the shower with the killer spider), I am dripping all over the floor while yelling at him to get a cup and catch the little bastard before he gets away and hides and my son is laughing so hard he is about to wet himself.
The damn dog starts barking, my screaming wakes my daughter and I am still jumping up and down (jiggly bits and all) yelling at my son to
CATCH IT CATCH IT CATCH IT!
Kelen is my hero. He managed to catch his breath, stop laughing at his terrified Momma long enough to toss my robe to me (I wasn't going into that bathroom with the killer spider), trapped the spider and pausing only long enough to lunge at me with the cup a couple times he took that bad boy outside where he belongs.
So that is three different species of big spiders in the past 8 days.
I may need to rethink my position on poisonous chemicals.