Goodness. My first love? I had a crush on a neighbor boy at the age of 13. But I don't even remember his name. The first boy I kissed? He was sweet. My first lover? I still smile when I think of how he made me feel. My husband? I loved him so much but I hated him even more. The hatred overpowers any good that there was, making it so hard to remember the love.
I have had so many chances to love in my lifetime. Here are a few of my favorites.
This is my Momma. We have fought over so many things. We have both said the most horrible words to one another. We are so alike it is scary and we always forgive one another. She has taught me so much about how to be a strong woman and what unconditional love is. From the first breath I took outside of her body until the last breath I take on this earth, she is my first true love.
This is my little sister. We are 20 months apart and rumor has it she used to climb out of her crib and crawl over to my bed before she was even a year old. I have been looking out for her for as long as I can remember. She moved away last year and it broke my heart. I hate not being able to drive over and hang out whenever I want. Despite thousands of miles separating us physically, we still share a bond that can never be broken.
This beautiful girl is the reason I stopped calling babies fetuses. She was born when I was just 21 and from watching her twirl around in her momma's belly to taking her home on the bus as a not-quite potty trained toddler to being so proud of her for lettering in a high school sport. She opened my eyes to what it means to love someone more than myself.
These are my babies. I once heard somebody say that being a parent means having your heart walk around outside of your body and now I know just how true that is. I have literally given up all of my worldly goods in order to protect them and I would do it again in a heartbeat. There is nothing that can keep me from loving them.