Healthy body, healthy spirit, healthy mothering. This is the journey I have set out on with my two amazing children.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Issues

Hello My name is Stacey & I live in the land of Denial.

Can I please have a side of bitterness to go with my anger & resentment?

CRAP! My crap is now affecting my kids and that is just total crap. Right?

Right. Or as my kids would say (in a really deep voice) RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT!

Peas and crackers man! I apparently need to relax a bit with my children. I am gettting TOO protective of them...which is apparently bordering on overprotectiveness. Do I have issues with men? uhhhh yeah. Do I trust people (especially men)? uhhhh no. Do I trust ANYBODY (especially men) with my children? uhhhh no. Do I ask anybody for help (especially men)? uhhhh no. Am I willing to rely on anybody...depend on anybody...lean on anybody? uhhhh no. Are we seeing the pattern here?!? I am screwed up! I have issues with my issues!

Now, under normal circumstances these little idiosyncrisies of mine (Read: bitchiness, defensiveness, control) would push away men. This has always pushed away men. But now? What do I do? I fall for a shrink. Well, not officially but he may as well be. And he tells me in no uncertain terms, that he is not gonna fall for this load of crap! CRAP!! Now what? Honesty and undertanding in a man? What on Gods Green Earth am I supposed to do with that!?! I have never had that in my life!

RUN STACEY! FLEE TO GEORGIA! HIDE OUT!

This is my instinct. I think I will try to fight it this time. He seems to be worth it.

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