Healthy body, healthy spirit, healthy mothering. This is the journey I have set out on with my two amazing children.

Friday, June 29, 2007

Luigi

Senor Luigi made me laugh tonight. I also made myself laugh because I had a thought. Perhaps an inappropriate thought, but what can I say?

I was picturing in my head how he would react if I grabbed his butt.

O my gosh! That is hilarious!

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Issues

Hello My name is Stacey & I live in the land of Denial.

Can I please have a side of bitterness to go with my anger & resentment?

CRAP! My crap is now affecting my kids and that is just total crap. Right?

Right. Or as my kids would say (in a really deep voice) RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT!

Peas and crackers man! I apparently need to relax a bit with my children. I am gettting TOO protective of them...which is apparently bordering on overprotectiveness. Do I have issues with men? uhhhh yeah. Do I trust people (especially men)? uhhhh no. Do I trust ANYBODY (especially men) with my children? uhhhh no. Do I ask anybody for help (especially men)? uhhhh no. Am I willing to rely on anybody...depend on anybody...lean on anybody? uhhhh no. Are we seeing the pattern here?!? I am screwed up! I have issues with my issues!

Now, under normal circumstances these little idiosyncrisies of mine (Read: bitchiness, defensiveness, control) would push away men. This has always pushed away men. But now? What do I do? I fall for a shrink. Well, not officially but he may as well be. And he tells me in no uncertain terms, that he is not gonna fall for this load of crap! CRAP!! Now what? Honesty and undertanding in a man? What on Gods Green Earth am I supposed to do with that!?! I have never had that in my life!

RUN STACEY! FLEE TO GEORGIA! HIDE OUT!

This is my instinct. I think I will try to fight it this time. He seems to be worth it.

Monday, June 25, 2007

summer so far

The kids and I have been having lots of fun (thanks to B) since we have arrived here in CO.
We went up to Eldorado Springs and went swimming. I will post pictures once I find the box that contains all my electronic cords etc...We have gone to the park a couple of times, they are signed up for the reading program at the library. Kelen is very into his Star Wars books as well as Harry Potter. For our bedtime story I have been reading one chapter per night of the first Harry Potter book. Both kids really enjoy that! We went to a bbq today, the kids had so much fun as these people (friends of B) had a trampoline and an absolutely gorgeous dog to play with.

Once I finish posting this, I am doing some research into piercings. I have a newfound interest in that. :)

Sunday, June 24, 2007

FYI

I like being licked.

That is all.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

affection

I've come to the realization, in the past few days, that I am a person who gives physical affection. I am not talking about anything sexual. I just am a toucher. I come from a family of touchers. We hug, we kiss, we touch a persons arm when we are speaking to them. My kids come to me several times a day, just to sit on momma's lap and to snuggle or be held. I love to rub their heads or their arms when I am holding them. Shoot, I still occasionally like to snuggle with my mom and I am 32 years old. Everytime I am ending a phone conversation with a family member (or close friends) I end with "I love you". My mom and my sisters are the same way. Well, most of my sisters. One of them used to be this way but she has changed quite a bit in the past couple of years. But this is not about that.

Point is: I have learned that I need this touch to feel somehow connected to a person. Is that odd? I am struggling with this realization because now I am dating a man who is not a toucher. Members of his family are not touchers. They don't show affection or say the "I love you"'s everyday or even, apparently every month. My mind is struggling with this concept.

Perhaps it is the mexican in me. I mean, even if you have not seen your tia or tio or prima/o in YEARS, when you do see them again, you get a big ol' hug and most likely a kiss on one or both cheeks. Is that just a mexican thing? But that can't be entirely right. My father (my mexican side) is NOT a toucher. My mother is and she is as white as white can get. (Irish, German & English-by way of Canada) Mom is the toucher.

Shoot! The more I try to figure this out, and the more I see it as I am typing, the more confused I get.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

her royal fatness

yes, indeedy, that is me.
I used to be thin and able to wear a bikini on the beach.
But no more.
From now on you shall call me

HER ROYAL FATNESS!

stupid home videos.

home?

So we are pretty much settled in here at Linda's place in good ol' Colorado. The heat really sucks! its supposed to get up to 98 degrees. Urgh! But, Linda Marie has gotten the swamp cooler installed and it is working beautifully. Yay!!!! It has been wonderful being home. I actually had fun at the barbecue at Uncle Abe's on Father's Day. I really thought I would be too worn out from all the moving, but I am glad I went.

Linda and T are planning on breaking their lease here at the house, so if I do not find a roommate quickly...by the end of July...then the kids and I are going to have to move yet again. Sucko. I am hoping and praying that I will find another single mom that wants to live in a great house. Really the rent here (when splitting it with a roomie) is the same as I would be paying for some crappy apartment. Besides, the kids have been so stressed about the move that I really do not want to move them again, any time soon.

It is also wonderful to finally get to actually hang out with B instead of just talking to him on the phone everyday. Kelen has become infatuated with him. B showed me how to spit. B showed me how to skateboard. B wears these kind of shirts. B does this...B does that...Do you see where this is going? In the world according to Kelen- B can do no wrong.

Now my precious little Nevaeh Grace is a whole different story. She does not like B. She does not want momma to date B (or anyone for that matter). She says there will be absolutely no kissing! She is struggling with remembering to use her manners and be polite. We have had a couple of talks in the past 3 days. I told her she does NOT have to like B, and she does NOT have to like the fact that her momma is dating him, but she WILL be polite and not be disrespectful to him. This is our first big battle. All the other stuff was obviously leading up to this. Nevaeh has drawn her line in the sand and Momma does dare to cross. Heads will roll!! Ok...maybe nothing that dramatical but our heads will definitely be bashing together for awhile.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

moving

OH MY GOSH!! I am so tired.

I helped Dad move his stove & his bowflex workout machine to his new house.

Dad, Kelen and I just went down to the basement/cellar and pulled out the rest of my stuff. I helped Dad drag his stuff closer to the stairs but he did not want me to bring it up because my stupid allergies were attacking me from all the dust and mold downstairs. I was choking constantly. Stupid allergies.

Then I moved a bunch of boxes and tubs I had sitting in the living room out into the garage and started stacking them out there. Then I went upstairs and brought down 13 boxes of books, 1 suitcase filled with craft stuff and 1 big box of school stuff (books, papers, notebooks etc...). I have started packing my jewelry and I need to go back up there and finish that. I also want to finish packing my state pigs and take that darn desk apart. Kelen really wants to take his bunkbed apart but I have a feeling I am wayyyy too tired to actually do that. I do intend to pack Kelen's overnight bag to take to the hotel and to bring the kids' clothes that are packed downstairs. Maybe, if I get my second wind I will pack my overnight bag too. Urgh!

I really dislike moving!

Friday, June 08, 2007

SCHOOL

so I finally got my grades for my classes. I got the grades I was expecting. Got a 4.0 in "Orientation to Deafness" and a 3.0 in my algebra II/Trigonometry. Not bad. Of course I would prefer a 4.0 in the math class but I can deal with a 3.0.