Healthy body, healthy spirit, healthy mothering. This is the journey I have set out on with my two amazing children.

Friday, May 25, 2007

not now

Blurgh. I went to the doctor today for my yearly check up. Will get the results of the pap next week, same as always. When she checked my breasts she found more lumps. Nothing new there either. She has ordered a mammogram on June 5th. She ordered an ultrasound on June 6th. And she has scheduled me to see the surgeon on June 12th. I just don't want to even deal with this again. I do appreciate the doctors help though. I waited in the office for an hour while her scheduler pulled some strings to make sure that I am seen before I move June 15th. I told Dr. K that I will not have insurance once I get to Colorado so it is a good thing that I am getting all of this out of the way while I am still here in Michigan. But of course, because it is me, I am handling this the same way I always do. I am tired and I want to climb into bed and snuggle with my daughter and go to sleep. That is just not an option. I have so much packing to do, and there are two baskets of laundry that need to be folded, and a dishwasher that needs to be emptied, not to mention the two sinks full of dirty dishes that need to be washed. So my answer to everything on my mind is...NOT NOW! Need to think about some stuff...NOT NOW. Want to lay down and sleep...NOT NOW. Want to call Tia or B or my sisters or Marissa and cry...NOT NOW. Want to, want to, want to, need to, need to, need to...NOT NOW!

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