Healthy body, healthy spirit, healthy mothering. This is the journey I have set out on with my two amazing children.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007


Woohoo! I have a 3.0 in my math class and I got a 3.0 on the algebra II final. Yay me!
And I like the way B puts what he is listening to so I am stealing that idea. :)
-Currently listening to Shins "Sealegs".

Can you do the sohcahtoa?

So Mr. Petry teaches us this Mnemonic (not to be confused with pneumonic) in an attempt to quicken the memorization of the 6 basic trigonometric functions.

SOHCAHTOA sew-kuhh-toe-uh

Sin=opposite over hypotenuse
cos=adjacent over hypotenuse
tan=opposite over adjacent

And then you just have to remember that csc, sec and cot are the reciprocals. Ok. Sounds fairly simple.


So Mr. Petry goes on to draw a diagram of a tree on the chalkboard and a little stick person standing 40ft from the base of the tree. He tells us that we assume the tree grows perpendicular to the ground (which is perfectly flat) and that we are assuming the angle of the stick person to the top of the tree to be 70 degrees.
Now he says:
"Stacey. What is the height of the tree?"

So you have to picture me sitting at my table, tongue sticking out slightly (which I know I do when I am thinking hard) and I am reciting in my head
'SOHCAHTOA. If I have the angle and I have the A (adjacent) which is 40 ft and I need
the opposite...

"Stacey what is the height of the tree?"
"uhhhhhh just a minute Mr. Petry I am sohcahtoa-ing." SOHCAHTOAING?!?!?
The entire class bursts out in laughter. I can't believe I said that out loud.

I am such a goober.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Thar she blows!

Well, here we are. It is a gorgeous spring day. 77 degrees outside. Kelen's doc said to keep him home one more day to make sure he was eating ok and keeping everything down. So he is home and we went to the car wash. He ran around and played while I cleaned. Clearly, he is feeling fine.
On an entirely different note. Everytime I see myself in a picture I get ticked off. I am proud of myself for working out everyday and I know (in my head) that I am getting healthier each day and closer to my goal but still...Mom sees new pics and sees her beautiful daughter (I know cuz she always tells me). Linda will tell me I look gorgeous. Me, I say "look! a pink whale with long hair!" But you asked me to include current pics of me so I did.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Quadratic functions, vernors & sponge bob. What do these have in common?

Kelen has the flu. Yuck. He woke up very very early saturday am (like 2am) and told me his stomach was hurting. He did not have a fever so I just had him crawl into my bed and snuggle up with me and a big ol' bowl (just in case). Well unfortunately that bowl came in handy around 3:30am. The puking started. Once he woke up Saturday am he had a fever. Now we were supposed to help out with the boy scout food pick up but obviously that could not happen. Kelen tried to tell me he was feeling better around 11am but that was because he wanted to spend the day with his friend Griffin. I let him go outside to play (to prove a point) and sure enough he came back in to lay on the couch within 5 mins.

As a single parent something basic like running to the grocery store for Vernors and Pepto Bismol is a serious hassle when one of the kids is sick. Dad was home napping and Kelen seemed to be feeling ok so I decided to dash to the store for supplies. I come back home and my boy is crying because he threw up again and I was not there. AUGHHHH!! These are the things that make me want to cry.

Poor baby! It is a beautiful weekend, warm enough outside to wear shorts and tshirts and he is laying on the couch, wrapped up in a fleece blanket, shivering and watching "Deadliest Catch" on the Discovery channel. Wait, nevermind now he wants to watch Sponge Bob Square Pants. Woo hoo! That is just what i want to listen to while studying for an algebra II final.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

baby mania

It's probably not what you are thinking.

I am so excited about this oral presentation for my "orientation to deafness" class. We chose our own topic (which is always better than being assigned some crap you couldn't care less about). I have decided to speak about the options deaf women have when it comes to their pregnancies and labor and deliveries. Now, for those of you who know me well, you understand that childbirth fascinates me. I AM going to be a midwife (someday).

Well, it is just sad how few options deaf women have when it comes to controlling their labor and deliveries. There are just not a lot of OB/GYNs who are fluent in ASL. Most women have to use an interpreter for their medical appointments and this includes pregnancy related visits. Can you imagine that!? Personally I didn't like even my husband seeing me all strapped into the stirrups let alone some total stranger. And yes, you can request a specific interpreter but as it is the doctors job to secure and pay for the interpreting services usually the patient gets stuck with whomever is available and accepts the job.

Ok-if I were an interpreter I would have no qualms about these kinds of visits. But again, I am not squeamish about childbirth. I have no problem with the examinations, the words that go along with it: cervix, vaginal exam, speculum, stirrups, mucus plug, effacement, bloody you get my point here? Now be honest with yourself, how many of you were cringing upon reading those words? So how many interpreters do you think would refuse this type of job?

I am so excited to get started on my actual research. All I have so far is an outline but I do have a list of several people to contact. But, my algebra II final is on Monday so this weekend is all about studying for that. Tuesday though...look out! I will be annoying every OB/GYN that is listed in the Lansing phone book!

Saturday, March 17, 2007

nonsensical musings

blatant disregard.
my feelings mean nothing.
not to you, nor any longer to me.
do i give up my dreams?
are they not just utter nonsense?
surely i have learned that there is not
enough time for utter nonsense.
no, indeed, there are so many practical
matters to take care of.
yet the utter nonsense of my dreams
keeps hope of a more lively future alive.
are you worth the death of my dreams?

Friday, March 16, 2007


I have the flu. It sucks. I actually had a babysitter for tonight and plans to go out dancing with some friends. Then I get the frigging flu. So I am tired and achy and now I am sad. There are a lot of decisions to be made and I am not sure that I want to make them anymore. On days like this I wish I were still a young child with no concerns about my own future, let alone anybody elses.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

great day

Today is an absolutely great day! The sun is shining AND it is warm outside, for the first time since November. I am almost finished with my online math homework and it is not quite 3 o'clock. I went to a movie. Saw the 300. Great, great, great movie! Actually I may go see it again. Yes, it is that good. Beautiful cinematography, and considering that it is mostly special effects that really impressed me. I almost never like cg backgrounds but this one blew my mind! Of course there was a lot of blood and a few decapitations, just like I had heard but really it was not gratuitous violence. Like I told Linda, what do people expect to see when watching a war movie? They fought with spears and swords so I don't expect to see paper cuts. I (as always) wish they had left out the usual Hollywood sex scenes and boob shots. Seriously, how many different ways are there to see breasts people?

My house is quiet. Dad is not home. Yay me! I have an entire hour before I have to pick up Kelen and Nevaeh. I got the ok for Neva to go to daycare 2 extra days next week while Dad is in Vegas. I have lost 2 pants sizes and tomorrow is payday. Seriously, this is such a great day!

Sunday, March 11, 2007

I'm trusting Him to get me through another busy day.

-I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye. Do not be like the horse or like the mule, which have no understanding, which must be harnessed with bit and bridle, else they will not come near you. Many sorrows shall be to the wicked; but he who trusts in the Lord, mercy shall surround him. Be glad in the Lord and rejoice, you righteous; And shout for joy, all you upright in heart! Psalm 32: 8-11

Nevaeh has a program at her schools' home church this am so we gotta hurry up and get ready for that.

Kelen has an awards program for basketball this afternoon, apparently that'll take about 3 hours. Ugh.

Grandma's husband called at 8am...she is back in the hospital. I have to find time to get down there, preferably without the kids.

My kitty is scratching herself, she needs a flea bath. Thats something to look forward to today.

And I have managed to procrastinate my entire spring break and I need to do my trig homework. :) oops. That one is clearly my fault.

dumdedummmmm....It's super mommy time!

Saturday, March 10, 2007

The end of march birthday madness!

So I have survived Kelen's 7th birthday party. The theme was Harry Potter. The boys each got a different colored magic wand (glow sticks) and they entertained themselves with those for quite a while. They played with his starfighter legos for about 35 minutes. It was quieter in my house at that point than it usually is with just Kelen and Nevaeh here. The cats ran and hid for the entire party. It wasn't the kids that got to them, it was the noisemakers. Once the boys discovered those in their goody bags both cats were gone! All of the other mommies were soooo excited to just drop off their boys and was kind of funny how quickly they were out the door. Now Kelen has 2 invitations to spend the night at his friends houses...boy if I can find someone to take Nevaeh too...ooooohhh...I cannot even imagine what I would do with an entire kid free weekend.

On a different note. My sister and brother-in-law were VERY, VERY generous for my birthday and I am planning to go shopping for a new treadmill Monday after my math class. Yay! What awesome timing, the treadmill dies on Friday and I get a large and unexpected check in the mail on Saturday. Thank you God!

Friday, March 09, 2007

not such a good day

This is not a good day. B won't answer his phone (punk arse). I have to clean my house for Kelens party tomorrow and dad is grumpy because I don't have time to go out to breakfast with him. My treadmill finally broke in the middle of my workout which just sucks. I cannot really vent to anyone about this bs with bryan cuz my sisters will take it personally and hold it against him forever. My mom is already ticked off at him for "disrespecting" me. And tia is too far away. I really don't like it when God answers my pleas in a way I didn't want. Did He answer me? Oh yes, its pretty clear but I really didn't want this particular answer. I'm supposed to take the kids and meet a friend for lunch to study for my sign midterm and my freaking eyes are swollen from crying. I need to just take a shower, turn off my phone and focus on my kids right now. Yep. Thats what I am gonna do. Stop focusing on the crap & take care of the 2 greatest blessings in the world. I can put my focus on them and take my focus off of me.

Thursday, March 08, 2007


screw vulnerable. now I remember why it just isn't worth it. i really don't enjoy crying because of a man. ANY MAN!

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

vulnerable again

After the end of my marriage I was determined to live the rest of my life alone, there would be no love, no vulnerability. Now don't misunderstand. I did want revenge against R. And the only way to get revenge would be to be with a new man. I figured since he hurt me with other women then clearly the best way for me to hurt him would be through other men. It didn't work. I tried but just could not make myself act that way. So, I decided that I wanted NOTHING to do with men. I was hurt and felt that avoiding the opposite sex (other than family members) was the easiest and least complicated way to live my life. Even after forgiving R and trying to become friends with him (for the kids' sake) I still always believed I would be alone for the rest of my life.

B has changed my mind. Or I should say I have changed my mind because of B. He accepts me for who I am. Doesn't hold my many, many, many faults against me. He is ok with my fascination with Prince. Listens to my ranting and raving about how my father's behavior is driving me crazy. Appreciates and shares my love of knowledge, reading and learning. I don't know if this is a good thing, but we both spend way too much $ on books and cds. We have known each other for over ten years (according to him-I can't remember exactly when we first met, sometimes it seems we have known each other forever) so he knows a lot of my past, my very un-christian past. That doesn't seem to effect the way he feels about me. Other than my sisters and my mom, he is the only person in the last 9 years that has told me I am pretty and I don't have to wait for the punchline. And more importantly, I actually want to believe him. That alone is a huge leap of faith for me.

It is really a lot more difficult than I remember, this whole relationship thing. Honesty has never been difficult for me. But its that pesky speaking the truth in love that I find incredibly challenging. In the past it was...he hurts me, so I hurt him. He called me names I was more than happy to yell some choice words at him. You shove me I pick myself up and shove right back. I pray that I have learned from my horrid mistakes in past relationships.

But now I find myself questioning my own thoughts more often than I did in the past. I truly don't want to be defensive and hurtful. But this leads to "Is what I am thinking right? Is it biblically sound? Am I jealous and overreacting? Am I reading too much into the situation BECAUSE of my last relationship?" These thoughts are haunting me.

Blech! enough baring my soul for today.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007


Dang, 32 candles sure do make a LOT of smoke. It was a good day. The kids and I drove down to Indianapolis to visit mom, as today was her only day off. We went out to lunch, she put 32 candles on 3 little debbie snack cakes and nearly set the hotel room on fire. :) It was fun. The kids sang "happy birthday" to me. Dad got me a great santoku knife and a new pilates mat. Overall it was a good day.

Saturday, March 03, 2007


My kids have cats. They each have one cat, given to them by Nana S (their fathers ex stepmom). B has asked me to move to wherever he gets a job (right now he is thinking Minnesota) but unfortunately he is allergic to cats. I have been trying to prepare my kids for the fact that the cats are going to have to go. This morning, Kelen was just sobbing at the thought of giving away Teddy Bear. Teddy Bear being his cat. Anyone who is a mother knows that it physically hurts the momma to see her child hurting, whether it is physical or emotional hurt. That doesn't matter. Point is, my baby was/is hurting. He is already grieving for this dang cat. I wanted to shout out "Nevermind! We can keep the kitty, just please don't cry baby. It'll be ok. Momma will make it better." But I can't do that can I?